he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
