i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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