people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
