I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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