How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
