Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
