i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize