I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
