can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
