There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
