I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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