did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just gift wrapped bread.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
