hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
