Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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