I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
