she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
