Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize