Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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