dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
