I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So here I am, sexting at work.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
