matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
