i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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