I wish my penis had an off switch
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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