We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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