I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
