gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
