One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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