we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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