Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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