im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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