Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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