I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
