i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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