Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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