Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
