I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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