i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
