is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
