Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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