I got chris browned last night
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
