I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
