I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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