This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
