yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
