ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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