yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
