Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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