Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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