He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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