please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
