I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
40s are totally the cure
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
