those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
