Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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