This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
