I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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