4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
vagina is talking i cant
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
