I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
