Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
