You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
