I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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